Like A Boss: Archive

2 tags

Nov 15th

Back Again, Muddafukkas

Well tumblr, all it took was a boring class and a boring desk job to drive me back into your arms.

Nov 15th

1 note

I NEED A 21st BDAY DRESS!!

Jan 3rd

1 tag

Confessions

I AM SO LAME. It’s been two and a half weeks and I’ll I’ve managed to do is think think think about how much I miss my boyfriend NONSTOP which is totally totally the lamest of lame and I really feel pretty lame about it if you must know. I guess I just needed to admit that. I hate being defined by anything other than awesomeness so this sheer and utter lameness is pretty...

Jan 3rd

Adventures in the Georgia Suburbs, Day 1

Shocked and appalled that my stepmother has deemed The Expendables a good movie, I begin ferociously eating fudge and subsequently pass out in a nearby recliner. In other news, this town is named after jizz.

Dec 19th

1 note

Community Blows.

Do people actually watch this show? It sucks.

Nov 5th

1 tag

Sep 9th

2 notes

2 tags

“No,” Mom says, looking me in the eyes. “What’s a triumph is...”

– It’s Kind of a Funny Story, Ned Vizzini

Aug 8th

2 notes

Redneck Riviera

Nana brought out the platter of fried chicken and cheese biscuits and I just about jizzed in my pants at the sight. We had just come up from the lake, where we tore up the scene on jetskis until it was too dark to see. I threw my brother off of the two-seater four times but he just laughed and saddled back up because Parellas are CHAMPS. Then we rode around the neighborhood on a Kawasaki mule,...

Aug 5th

2 notes

Things I Be Doin in the Dirtay South

1. Riding dirty … to Walmart. 2. Getting fat 3. Neglecting personal hygeine 4. Ignoring grammar rules 5. Lovin lyfe.

Aug 2nd

1 note

3 tags

Back by Popular Demand

So here’s a shout out to the one girl who follows my blog religiously, a sexy lady by the name of Beevs, who made me feel like a celeb by requesting that I update. This summer has been incredible. I set out to be as reckless as possible before I had to sell my soul to the devil i.e. the Office of Res Life. Unfortunately, the RA position kind of prohibits me from documenting my conquests...

Jul 21st

Taking a tumblr hiatus

Sorry lads and lassies, work and booze are just going to have to take priority for a while.

Jun 24th

2 tags

Jun 19th

16 notes

Broin' Out

Hmm…So I’m forcing myself to write something other than descriptive captions about Jake Gyllenhaal’s smokin hot bod, mostly because I’m afraid that my brain has turned to mush. I sit at a desk from 6am-12pm, watching True Blood and pretending that vampires really do exist. Then I take a three hour nap. Then I work at a Mexican restaurant until around midnight, at which...

Jun 15th

3 tags

Jun 10th

hagepodge asked: When you're famous, can you make me a little bit famous too?

Jun 10th

2 tags

Jun 9th

5 tags

Jun 2nd

17 notes

2 tags

Jun 2nd

2 tags

Jun 2nd

darth-vader: i love all of Brand New’s albums, even Daisy. Daisy is a masterpiece, i love it so much. I’ll never understand why so many Brand New fans hate on Daisy. I love every album, some more than others, but there are certainly times when I crave Daisy above all else. It’s amazing.

Jun 2nd

3 tags

May 31st

3,967 notes

3 tags

May 30th

5 tags

May 29th

WHY AM I SO EMO TODAY

How has every show I’ve watched this evening succeeded in making me whimper? It all started with Haddie and Amber’s dramatic reconciliation on Parenthood, followed by Robin’s heartbreak on How I Met Your Mother. OH and best believe I couldn’t control the waterworks in that precious moment when Teresa dubbed Dina the godmother of her newborn on the Real Housewives of New...

May 27th

5 tags

May 24th

57 notes

4 tags

May 23rd

3 tags

Message to Kids

KIDS: Wash ya damn teeth. I think I have a cavity and it sucks. You see kids, cavities are luxuries of the rich man. Why do you think so many rappers have grills? Because they can afford to put flossing aside, choosing booze, sweets, and the crack pipe instead. Grillz are like a hundred fillings per tooth, which basically says to society, “YO, I can afford to get screwed up the bum by the...

May 20th

4 tags

May 19th

5 tags

May 18th

58 notes

4 tags

May 17th

Why do I sound like a raspy old smoker and require a box of tissues wherever I go? Because I’m sick. Why am I sick? Like I told the security guard, it’s a mix of allergies and bad decisions. I frustrate myself.

May 16th

Anonymous asked: If you had to eat banana flavored pudding or banana flavored ice cream, which would you rather eat? And why?

May 14th

5 tags